Palindromic History of Civilization

                         Palindromic History of Civilization

                                                      by

                                              Howard Richler

It is time to take stock of some celebrated palindromic statements in recorded history.

Live not on evil, Madam, live not on evil. (circa 2 weeks after Creation)  The Almighty delivers an injunction to Eve.

Cain, a monomaniac. (circa 3 weeks after Creation) Adam is disconsolate that Cain slew Abel in a classic case of sibling rivalry run amok.

Was it Ararat I saw? (circa 1060 years after Adam) On the 17^th day of the 7^th month of confinement with odiferous beasts, Noah does a double take when he spots Mount Ararat from the ark.

Harass selfless Sarah?  (circa 400 years after Noah)  Sarah gives Abraham an ultimatum: “It’s me or the handmaid.” Abraham chooses Sarah and extradites Hagar and Ishmael.

Egad, no bondage? (circa 600 years after Abraham)  An Israelite slave is euphoric upon being released from captivity.

Sex at noon taxes. (circa 1400 BCE) Attributed to Rahab, a Jericho harlot.

Naomi, I moan.(circa 1300 BCE)  Ruth laments the death of her husband to her mother-in-law Naomi  when she discovers the stiff didn’t carry life insurance.

Yahweh, chew hay!   (circa 750 BCE (Job lets loose after being  tested one time too many.

Poor Dan is in a droop. (circa 550 BCE)  Daniel is feeling low over the prospect of spending the night in a den of lions. He is saved when the cats display a dislike of kosher food.

Sex, Rex Xerxes?  (480 BCE). An Athenian courtesan propositions the conquering

Persian king.

Sore deifier reified Eros. (399 BCE)   At his trial, Socrates is accused of corrupting

youth.

We, Plato, tar a total pew. (365 BCE)  Attributed to an ebullient Aristotle after one of his peeps at the Academy spilled tar on a bench.

Sulla, call us. (88 BCE )  Confronted by Sulla that he and Sulpicius are challenging Sulla’s rule, Marius gives Sulla  a flippant answer.

Revolting is error, resign it lover. (73 BCE)   Spartacus’s main squeeze exhorts him not to lead a revolt against Rome.

Draw O Caesar, erase a coward! (44 BCE).  Caesar ignores advice to off Brutus before Brutus offs him.

Nosh son? (6)  Joseph offers his young son Jesus his first bagel at his sister’s sweet sixteen.

Mary  bred a derby ram. (9) To supplant her husband’s paltry carpenter’s income, Mary raised thoroughbred rams. The one named Shofar went on to win the Triple Crown

of sheep racing.

Evil I did dwell; lewd did I live. (28)  A contrite Mary Magdalene washes Jesus’s feet with her tears.

On! I sack casino (29) Jesus urges his disciples on after he overthrows the tables of the money changers in the temple.

Lepers, alas, repel. (30)  A leper implores Jesus to cure his disease so that he can get a date with a nice Jewish girl.

Rise, sir!  (31)  Jesus commands Lazarus to rise from his grave.

Moody men, I pine my doom. (33)  Jesus is gloomy at the Last Supper after eating too much Passover food.

O renege Nero! (68) An aide to Nero tries to get the Emperor to call off the torching of Rome,

I nab rumor from Urban 1.  (229)  A bishop eavesdrops on the first city Pope.

No! Rome, moron! (452) Attila corrects a hearing-impaired Hun set on pillaging

Nome, Alaska,

Lid off a daffodil, Allah; shall Ali doff a daffodil? (650) Supplication courtesy of

Caliph Ali ibn-abu Talib

Gnat was I ere I saw T’ang! (668)   A sycophantic Korean tries to curry favor with his Chinese masters)

Evil was Saladin a man, I’d alas. saw live.(1191)- Richard the Lion-hearted rues his encounter with Saladin.

Slog no mini Mongols  (1238)  Russian Price Alexander Nevski underestimates the Mongols about to overrun his country)

Was it a rat I saw? (1284)- Attributed to the pied-piper of Hamelin

Hot-oh! !1431)- Attributed  to Joan of Arc at the stake.

Live for a War of Roses or for a war of evil. (1455) Henry Tudor rallies his red rose Lancastrians against their white rose York foes.

Resume so pacific a pose, muser (1516)  After a lunch break, Leonardo da Vinci exhorts La Gioconda to resume her previous expression.

Egad! A base tone denotes a bad age. (1555)- Nostradamus predicts the assault of disco music in the 1970s.

Sums are deified, Erasmus. (1563) John Calvin decries society’s materialism to Desiderius Erasmus.

Sex? Even a Dane vexes! (1600)  Hamlet can’t deal with his mother’s carnal nature.

Delivery, Revere very reviled (1776) A customer complains when his order arrives a

week late from Pony Paul’s Pizza Parlor

No slender evil, snug  was I ere I saw guns-livered Nelson (1805) Commander Villeneuve of the joint French-Spanish fleet laments his defeat to Admiral Nelson at Trafalgar.

Embargo? Go grab me. (1807)   Senator Timothy Pickering tells President Jefferson’ planned embargo.

Able was I ere I saw Elba. (1821)  An enisled Napoleon laments his exile.

Peel’s asleep.  (1834) A British M.P. remarks that P.M. Robert Peel is somnolent in Parliament.

Yes, Sy, doom Alamo odyssey. (1836) Mexican General Santa Anna gives Lieutenant Sy Gonzales the order to storm the Alamo.

Degas, are we not drawn onward, we freer few, drawn onward to new eras aged? (1864) Attributed to Claude Monet addressing Edouard Degas.

Steno men interpret nine Monets. (1866) Pierre Renoir can’t resist a snide comment when he hears some office workers discussing Impressionism.

O, Geronimo, no minor ego (1866)   Attributed to General Cook who captured Apache leader Geronimo.

I,man, am regal: A German am I. (1898)  At a masked ball, Emperor William 11, gives  a big clue as to his identity.

Are we not drawn onwards, we Jews, drawn onward to new era? (1900)  Attributed to Theodore Herzl.

A man , a plan, a canal-Panama. (1914)  Attributed to Woodrow Wilson at the opening of the Panama Canal.

Jar not a tonga; nag not a Raj. (1942)Attributed to Winston Churchill hectoring Mahatma Gandhi.

Can I attain a C? (1965)  Attributed to Donald Trump at Fordham U. is his quest for academic mediocrity.

Neil, an alien! (1969) Buzz Aldrin mistakes his own shadow for a moonman.

Drat Sadat a dastard!(1979)   Ariel Sharon shows  distrust of Anwar Sadat during the Camp David negotiations.

Evil odes or prose do live. (1988)- Ayatollah Khoumeini’s comment about Rushdie’s The Satanic Verses.

Egad! A Red loses older adage. (1989)-Reagan admits that Gorbachev’s not a bad guy after all.

Drat Saddam, a mad dastard. (1990) George Bush expresses his opinion of Saddam Hussein.

Joy, O.J? (1996)- Johnny Cochrane congratulates O.J. Simpson  after his acquittal.

No in uneven union! (2016) Attributed to Boris Johnson advocating for Brexit.

Star comedy by Democrats.(2020)  Attributed to Donald Trump after the Iowa Caucus fiasco.

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