A Word Nerd’s Quest to Find Words that
Define Us
By
Howard Richler
Over fifteen
years ago when I was a mere stripling of 54, I met a woman I hadn’t seen in
over two years at a dog run. I mentioned obliquely that I was in a
relationship, and in some context referred to “my partner.” She loudly responded, “You’re gay!,” as
several onlookers and two Dobermans eyed me malevolently. I hastily explained to her that I had not “switched
teams” (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and that the aforementioned
“partner” was indeed a lady. She instructed me, “Howard. only gays have
partners. She’s your girlfriend.”
While I was aware
that the term “partner” has been somewhat expropriated by the gay community, as
a member of the half century club I had a difficult time referring to someone
more or less of my vintage as my “girlfriend.”
It was too sophomoric-sounding.
So, although the English language
has innumerable ways of expressing many words,
it lacked even one suitable word to
describe those partaking in a
“mature” relationship. Other languages have paid more attention to
this nomenclature dilemma. For example,
in German, lebenspartner refers to
“life partner” ; if you have adequate breath,
you can jocularly refer to your
beloved as lebensabschnittspartner
(“lap,” for short) which adds
abschnitt “section” to the
equation, an oxymoronic temporary life partner. Interestingly, the French
language which at times been averse to
anglicisms, has in Quebec solved this nomenclature conundrum somewhat by the importation of
an English word. The term chum has been in circulation in Quebecois French
for many decades to refer to ones’ love interest. However, there is no indication that a proper English term for this designation is likely to emerge and I have given up hope of
one surfacing.
Having succumbed
to using the term “partner” fast forward
fifteen years : now that I am 69, I have
shifted my word obsession and am looking for a definitive term to describe
those, like myself and my “partner” who are over 65 but aren’t elderly. Personally,
I don’t want to be designated as elderly or as a senior
citizen. The former term to me connotes someone whose physical disabilities
necessitate extensive care; the latter term
suggests a retired person who lives on
a pension in a senior home, goes to senior centres and is sedentary by nature .While previously these terms may have been apt for someone over
65, times have changed. After all, our
increased life expectancy is staggering, and it has been calculated that by the
year 2030 in many countries life expectancy will exceed 85. Probably largely
due to better health care, research shows that reaching an age of 65 for most
people doesn’t mark a decline in performance. Also, statistics show that people
over 65 contribute approximately 20% of consumer spending and within two
decades this amount is expected to increase 25%. Whereas in 2000 only 12.8% of people over 65 were in the workforce by
2016 this figure had climbed to 18.8%
Research
suggests that the public largely associates the aging process with decline and
deterioration and doesn’t comprehend
that many older folks don’t feel
particularly different from their
younger self. A case in point is a recent study conducted by AARP Inc (American
Association of Retired Persons). They
asked a group of millennials to reveal
the age they considered to be old; this averaged out to be 59. Then they
introduced the same group to some people 60 years and older. A video shows how
the millennials changed their perception after interacting with vibrant members
of the older generation and in the process relinquished their outdated beliefs
that aging always involves perceptible decline.
Given the proven
case for those in their sixties being far more active in many ways than
previous generations, we must find a
more dynamic term for folks over 65 other than elderly or senior.
Here are some
candidates:
a)boomers
b)geriactives
c)honoured
elders
d)nightcappers
e)silvers
f)sunsetters
g)the wise
Another
alternative is to create an acronym to describe the group and here are some
options:
1)nyppies (not yet past it)
2)owls (older, working less) or older, wiser, learning
3)hopskis (healthy old people spending
kids’ inheritance.
What we call an
age group might seem unimportant but often the words we use to classify a
segment of society affects people’s attitudes toward the group. Some examples
here are flight attendant instead of stewardess, personal assistant rather than secretary, extermination engineer
instead of pest controller, and fitness trainers are rather more upscale from than health-club staff.
So given the
rising importance of the over 65s and the lack of an accepted modern term to
describe this stage of life, if you have a preferred word from the list above
or a different suggestion entirely, please send it to me at the address below.
I look forward to receiving ideas on how
to solve my current word dilemma.
Richler’s latest
book is Wordplay: Arranged and Deranged
Wit
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